All Hallows Eve

Halloween. The one day a year a girl can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything about. Except when it is FREEZING.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this holiday. The candy, the costumes, the ghost stories, all of it. What I don’t love is when you get all ready to have a great night and Mother Nature goes, “Nuh uh. Think again.”

So I am sitting here in the library blogging away while the weather outside is in this annoying state of not quite raining but not NOT raining and wondering how I am going to salvage this night. I’m not really the party type. Something about corralled inside a house trying to have a good time while also trying to keep it down in fear that the neighbors call the cops just doesn’t appeal to me. So what then?

That when it dawns on me. What are the best Halloweens? Are they the ones where you rage until it hurts? No. The best Halloweens I have ever had are the ones where I go buy a large sack of candy, a box of popcorn, and rent a few movies and sit back, relax, and get fat. Also, this can be done even when the Gods are angry (a la Percy Jackson).

So thus I have it settled in my brain. Tonight will not consist of some costume while trying to prevent some DB from spilling something down my front. Instead I will be kicking it at home with friends eating my feelings and scaring myself until I vomit.

Maybe I will party next year. Maybe.

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Goodbye loves.

Babel

So I'm sitting here in the computer lab printing out the latest entry in a seemingly never ending stream of French homework assignments when it strikes me the oddity of the culture surrounding language. I mean, why the fuck do we even have different languages anymore? Beyond the idea of nationality and pride, I don't think that it is necessary to have the world cast in the shadow of misinterpretation due to language differences.

Now don't interpret this as me saying that everyone should cave to western influence and just learn English to "make it easier" for the rest of us. That is not it at all. All I am saying through this is that there should be one fucking language everyone knows in addition to their base dialect to allow the world to communicate with each other better. Think of the wars that were created in the past century and how much conflict could have been avoided if the leaders of the world were able to sit down and communicate on a common level.

It is with that that I would like to introduce a new language into the system. I am still debating on the name of this language but it would serve merely as a mediator in international relations. I know all of this sounds fancy and semi-post apocalyptic but just think of the benefits. Imagine a world where once conflict breaks the leaders could all communicate in a language that every party understands. That old saying of "lost in translation" would be as out of date as Joan Rivers's original face.

Here is what I propose: A committee meets with a copy of the dictionary and painstakingly crafts a new world language. One where the formal language is the only kind and incorporates traditions from all languages of the world. Maybe the new alphabet can incorporate some of the latin letters we use with the characters of the asian dialects. Maybe some of those crazy german words that put a whole thought into a 29 character words serve as the basis for new words. The world is our oyster and we can change it.

So here is my question: if you could create a new universal language, would you? What is the importance of having these different languages? Would the world benefit from us building our own tower of Babel?

Sorry for a more serious post today. Just been on my mind lately. I promise tomorrow's will be more upbeat and fun with loads more swearing. Titties.

Peace out shitfaces.