Spending my day off obsessively
watching episode after episode of “Say Yes to the Dress” on Netflix of course
has me thinking about the idea of marriage. Why do it? What’s the benefit? Is it
worth the money? And, of course, the last one brings us to a much more serious
point: Why, as a gay man, am I not allowed? With the decision coming down the
pipe from the US Supreme Court on not only the constitutionality of DOMA but
also on California’s Prop 8 the whole nation is bracing, for good or ill, for a
momentous change. As this is happening though conservative are, of course,
letting their voices be heard by announcing a pledge that they will defy any
decision toward marriage equality with signers ranging from religious figures
to political leaders. Before we cast stones at these zealots, let’s take a look
at the facts.
On the table we have two different
decisions: DOMA and Prop 8. The Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, decision will
determine whether or not barring same-sex couples from receiving federal
benefits as a married couple is constitutionally allowed. While this benefit
would do nothing for couples who are not living in states that recognize
same-sex marriage, those living in the handful of states that do will finally receive
benefits from the feds if it is overturned. Prop 8 on the other hand is a
little trickier here. We got options. Prop 8 could be overturned on the ground
of federal constitutionality and thus overturn all gay marriage bans in the
United States leading to full legalization. More likely the Supreme Court will
say that it is unconstitutional IN CALIFORNIA ONLY and allow gay marriage there.
The case could even be thrown out altogether leading to, again, gay marriage in
California. So what is this pledge thingy?
Banning together under the veil of
religious expression, hundreds of religious Americans have signed onto a pledge
that they would ignore any decision passed down from the Supreme Court that
would spell marriage equality. Using key buzz words and phrases such as “freedom”,
“society”, and “faith”, the two page letter creates a nation that is apparently
being overrun by the power of the judicial branch which, in their mind, should
not have any power at all. As they put it, “Unlike the Legislative Branch that has the power
of the purse and the Executive Branch which has the figurative power of the
sword, the Judicial Branch has neither”. So for them this decision is one that
in going against their religious freedoms from a branch of government that they
see as being powerless. But, if one actually reads the document, what is very
obviously lacking is any sort of plan of what to do. It reads more like a
tantrum from a snotty toddler than a document with weight and purpose.
So what can these individuals even do? Considering the list of
individuals signed on board with this pledge I am going to say not very much.
Out of the hundred some odd people who have given their names for this, there
is only one person who currently holds a seat in a United States government
position and that is Rep. Sally Kern of Oklahoma’s 84th House
District who is, unsurprisingly, a Republican and who could be shocked to read this when this is the same woman with
such famous statements as “We have a high percentage of blacks in prison, and that’s tragic, but are they in prison just
because they are black or because they don’t want to study as hard in school?”
and that women earn less than men because they don't work as hard and have less
initiative. So it’s not like her inclusion onto this pledge comes as any
kind of surprise. From there we ramble onto a list of various figured ranging
from Peter La Barbera, the Preside of “Americans for Truth About Homosexuality”
to Dr. Warren Guy, a pediatric dentist. Seems to me like this list is missing
the key political weight it needs to even matter.
Look, the fact of the matter is
that this is going to happen. Gay marriage, one way or another, is going to be
legalized. The cards are falling into place now and finally we are closer than
ever and these religious yahoos and simply using it as an excuse to try to stay
relevant but it is obviously not going to work. The biggest knock here is the
fact that they couldn’t even get big name Republicans to sign on. Where are the
Rush Limbaughs and Sarah Palins of the world? Not here because even they are
realizing that in order to keep their jobs they have to stay on the right side
of history and calm it down a little. This letter is nothing more than a piece
of paper trying to stop a rolling boulder. Sorry Dr. Guy. Go back to the spit
bowl. I’m gonna get all kinds of gay married.
Works Referenced:
-"Sally Kern." Wikipedia.
N.p., n.d. Web. 22 June 2013.
-Rayfield, Jillian. "Oklahoma GOPer: It’s A Fact That
‘Blacks’ Don’t Work As Hard." TPM.
N.p., 28 Apr. 2011. Web. 22 June 2013.
-McNutt, Michael. "Kern Apologizes for Comments on
Minorities and Women; NAACP Says It's Not Enough." NewsOK. N.p., 29 Apr. 2011. Web. 22 June 2013.
-Gates, Sara. "Conservatives Pledge To Defy Any Marriage
Equality Ruling The Supreme Court Reaches." Huffington
Post. N.p., 22 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.
-Bloomfield, Aubrey. "Supreme Court DOMA: The
Anachronistic Law Must Be Struck Down." Policy Mic.
N.p., 22 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.
-Phillip, Abby D. "Supreme Court DOMA Ruling Looms Over
Immigration Overhaul." ABC News.
N.p., 17 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.
-Freedom Federation. "We Stand in Solidarity to Defend
Marriageand the Family and Society Founded Upon Them." Scribd. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 June 2013
So I sit here looking at my week ahead and I come to the
harsh and yet totally normal reality that despite everything I find myself
working almost every single day this week. Today is coaching. Thursday, Friday,
Saturday is Urban Outfitters. And I can pretty much guarantee you that I will
be working again on Sunday. And what is it all for? For the minimum wage pay
that barely covers rent and food not to mention the gas getting from place to
place, the utility bills to pay, being forced to eat out several times a week because
I have a break from work and need food. So if money can’t buy you happiness,
then why is it so damn important to live?
For some out there, that might seem like a good amount of
money especially if you live in a state where a living wage is $7 an hour because
the cost of living is so cheap. I live in California, however, where the cost
of living is so high that in our major cities we have a required $10 an hour
minimum wage for within city limits to make up for the fact that rent to live
there is so damn expensive. It would only figure to make sense then that in a
city with such high rent and thus high wage that all other expenses, from
groceries to gas, would be so highly inflated.
So why do I work so much in a city like Santa Cruz where
everything is insanely expensive and nothing is free only to find money
slipping out of my hands faster than I can bring it in? What’s the point? The
point is that money, in life, is everything. Our entire society is built on the
idea that you have to have money in some amount in order to live. Even the
homeless, living on the streets, need to beg for enough money to buy food
because without cash there would be no meal and without meals they were
eventually die. And so while it may be said that money can’t buy happiness, it
sure as hell will at least keep you alive.
