Money Can't Buy Happiness, But it Can Keep You Alive

So I sit here looking at my week ahead and I come to the harsh and yet totally normal reality that despite everything I find myself working almost every single day this week. Today is coaching. Thursday, Friday, Saturday is Urban Outfitters. And I can pretty much guarantee you that I will be working again on Sunday. And what is it all for? For the minimum wage pay that barely covers rent and food not to mention the gas getting from place to place, the utility bills to pay, being forced to eat out several times a week because I have a break from work and need food. So if money can’t buy you happiness, then why is it so damn important to live?

I decided, for laughs, to sit down and figure out how much I actually work a week when you factor in travel time and divide that by how much I make before taxes. I work approximate 37 hours a week if you factor in travel time. I get paid, however, monthly and so if you figure that we are looking at more like 148 hours of work/driving a month. And so, all in all, once it is all factored up I make approximately $7.80 an hour working.

For some out there, that might seem like a good amount of money especially if you live in a state where a living wage is $7 an hour because the cost of living is so cheap. I live in California, however, where the cost of living is so high that in our major cities we have a required $10 an hour minimum wage for within city limits to make up for the fact that rent to live there is so damn expensive. It would only figure to make sense then that in a city with such high rent and thus high wage that all other expenses, from groceries to gas, would be so highly inflated.

So why do I work so much in a city like Santa Cruz where everything is insanely expensive and nothing is free only to find money slipping out of my hands faster than I can bring it in? What’s the point? The point is that money, in life, is everything. Our entire society is built on the idea that you have to have money in some amount in order to live. Even the homeless, living on the streets, need to beg for enough money to buy food because without cash there would be no meal and without meals they were eventually die. And so while it may be said that money can’t buy happiness, it sure as hell will at least keep you alive.

I'm Out!


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DOMA is Doomed

Spending my day off obsessively watching episode after episode of “Say Yes to the Dress” on Netflix of course has me thinking about the idea of marriage. Why do it? What’s the benefit? Is it worth the money? And, of course, the last one brings us to a much more serious point: Why, as a gay man, am I not allowed? With the decision coming down the pipe from the US Supreme Court on not only the constitutionality of DOMA but also on California’s Prop 8 the whole nation is bracing, for good or ill, for a momentous change. As this is happening though conservative are, of course, letting their voices be heard by announcing a pledge that they will defy any decision toward marriage equality with signers ranging from religious figures to political leaders. Before we cast stones at these zealots, let’s take a look at the facts.

On the table we have two different decisions: DOMA and Prop 8. The Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, decision will determine whether or not barring same-sex couples from receiving federal benefits as a married couple is constitutionally allowed. While this benefit would do nothing for couples who are not living in states that recognize same-sex marriage, those living in the handful of states that do will finally receive benefits from the feds if it is overturned. Prop 8 on the other hand is a little trickier here. We got options. Prop 8 could be overturned on the ground of federal constitutionality and thus overturn all gay marriage bans in the United States leading to full legalization. More likely the Supreme Court will say that it is unconstitutional IN CALIFORNIA ONLY and allow gay marriage there. The case could even be thrown out altogether leading to, again, gay marriage in California. So what is this pledge thingy?

Banning together under the veil of religious expression, hundreds of religious Americans have signed onto a pledge that they would ignore any decision passed down from the Supreme Court that would spell marriage equality. Using key buzz words and phrases such as “freedom”, “society”, and “faith”, the two page letter creates a nation that is apparently being overrun by the power of the judicial branch which, in their mind, should not have any power at all. As they put it, “Unlike the Legislative Branch that has the power of the purse and the Executive Branch which has the figurative power of the sword, the Judicial Branch has neither”. So for them this decision is one that in going against their religious freedoms from a branch of government that they see as being powerless. But, if one actually reads the document, what is very obviously lacking is any sort of plan of what to do. It reads more like a tantrum from a snotty toddler than a document with weight and purpose.

So what can these individuals even do? Considering the list of individuals signed on board with this pledge I am going to say not very much. Out of the hundred some odd people who have given their names for this, there is only one person who currently holds a seat in a United States government position and that is Rep. Sally Kern of Oklahoma’s 84^th House District who is, unsurprisingly, a Republican and who could be shocked to read this when this is the same woman with such famous statements as “We have a high percentage of blacks in prison, and that’s tragic, but are they in prison just because they are black or because they don’t want to study as hard in school?” and that women earn less than men because they don't work as hard and have less initiative. So it’s not like her inclusion onto this pledge comes as any kind of surprise. From there we ramble onto a list of various figured ranging from Peter La Barbera, the Preside of “Americans for Truth About Homosexuality” to Dr. Warren Guy, a pediatric dentist. Seems to me like this list is missing the key political weight it needs to even matter.

Look, the fact of the matter is that this is going to happen. Gay marriage, one way or another, is going to be legalized. The cards are falling into place now and finally we are closer than ever and these religious yahoos and simply using it as an excuse to try to stay relevant but it is obviously not going to work. The biggest knock here is the fact that they couldn’t even get big name Republicans to sign on. Where are the Rush Limbaughs and Sarah Palins of the world? Not here because even they are realizing that in order to keep their jobs they have to stay on the right side of history and calm it down a little. This letter is nothing more than a piece of paper trying to stop a rolling boulder. Sorry Dr. Guy. Go back to the spit bowl. I’m gonna get all kinds of gay married.

I’m out!

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Works Referenced:

-"Sally Kern." Wikipedia. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Rayfield, Jillian. "Oklahoma GOPer: It’s A Fact That ‘Blacks’ Don’t Work As Hard." TPM. N.p., 28 Apr. 2011. Web. 22 June 2013.

-McNutt, Michael. "Kern Apologizes for Comments on Minorities and Women; NAACP Says It's Not Enough." NewsOK. N.p., 29 Apr. 2011. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Gates, Sara. "Conservatives Pledge To Defy Any Marriage Equality Ruling The Supreme Court Reaches." Huffington Post. N.p., 22 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Bloomfield, Aubrey. "Supreme Court DOMA: The Anachronistic Law Must Be Struck Down." Policy Mic. N.p., 22 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Phillip, Abby D. "Supreme Court DOMA Ruling Looms Over Immigration Overhaul." ABC News. N.p., 17 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Freedom Federation. "We Stand in Solidarity to Defend Marriageand the Family and Society Founded Upon Them." Scribd. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 June 2013

The Future.

Every two years we find ourselves subjected to the most influential popularity contest in the history of our nation: elections. Every four years we get slammed with an even more important presidential election that can literally alter the course of our nation’s history. In 2008 this nation found hope and, well, “change” with a new politician who was taking our country by storm. Four years later America is climbing slowly but surely out of the worst recession in memory with Barack Obama leading the way.

Thanks to the lacking of the previous administration, the Obama administration was steamrolled with an economy that collapsed during the months between the election and the previous administration leaving office causing Obama to inherit this monumental problem. While I am sure we can all agree that this recovery is taking time what cannot be ignored is that the task of flipping a national economy does not happen in one day, one week, or even four years. We are taking about widespread reforms in order to ensure that this not only can begin to heal but also that this does not happen again. It cannot be ignored that this is not a simple task. However, in light of this election, it is also important to remember that this country is NOT a business. Mitt Romney’s plan to fix this country is to “run it like a business” without providing a complete concrete plan as to how this will be done. Take a second though to think about how businesses work. A group of individuals on top do whatever they can to squeeze as much profit out of the workers without much regard to the workforce as a whole. Yes, this is precisely how I want this country to be run. Like a sweatshop. Great work…..

The economy aside it is time to delve into what is the most important part of this election to me: the social issues. I in no way want to downplay the importance of the economy in this election but as a gay man it stands to reason that the issues that hit closest to home for me would be the social ones. Plain and simple: Obama is for gay marriage and Romney is not. Black and white. There is no way around it. Obama has come out to say that he is for gay marriage in America and Romney has come out to say that he is for a nationwide ban that would remove the same-sex marriages already performed. My beliefs on the economy thus have to be pushed aside regardless of what I think. The right to marry goes much further than rights. It goes into my community’s standing as legitimate.

As I young gay man I felt helpless as many others in my position do. I felt like society did not accept me and had no place for me. To eliminate the right to marry is to tell every young gay man that what he feels inside is correct. There is no place for you. There is no acceptance for you. You might as well not be you. To tell a young gay person that they cannot love who they want and be accepted by the law is to tell them that it is simply not worth it to love who they want. It is to tell them that the government and the country cannot and will not accept your relationship as legitimate. It is to break the conscience of every young person to let them know once and for all that they are not worth their existence. At the risk of placing so much weight on this issues: The difference between legalizing gay marriage and banning gay marriage is the difference between life and death.

With that I can say with full confidence that I will not be voting for Mitt Romney and I urge every single person who reads this to do the same. If you know me, if you are my friend, if you appreciate my existence and enjoy who I am you cannot allow this man to win. If you know any queer individual and enjoy them you cannot let this man win. If you do not want to see any more faces of young men and women splash on the news with the headline “Gay Teen Suicide” you cannot let this man win.

In less than 36 hours my life could be changing irrevocably.

In less than 36 hours my future could be altered permanently.

In less than 36 hours this nation will be defined.

It’s now your choice.

And don’t fuck it up.

Goodbye loves.

All Hallows Eve

Halloween. The one day a year a girl can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything about. Except when it is FREEZING.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this holiday. The candy, the costumes, the ghost stories, all of it. What I don’t love is when you get all ready to have a great night and Mother Nature goes, “Nuh uh. Think again.”

So I am sitting here in the library blogging away while the weather outside is in this annoying state of not quite raining but not NOT raining and wondering how I am going to salvage this night. I’m not really the party type. Something about corralled inside a house trying to have a good time while also trying to keep it down in fear that the neighbors call the cops just doesn’t appeal to me. So what then?

That when it dawns on me. What are the best Halloweens? Are they the ones where you rage until it hurts? No. The best Halloweens I have ever had are the ones where I go buy a large sack of candy, a box of popcorn, and rent a few movies and sit back, relax, and get fat. Also, this can be done even when the Gods are angry (a la Percy Jackson).

So thus I have it settled in my brain. Tonight will not consist of some costume while trying to prevent some DB from spilling something down my front. Instead I will be kicking it at home with friends eating my feelings and scaring myself until I vomit.

Maybe I will party next year. Maybe.

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Goodbye loves.