Dead Puppies

So I am watching TV, kicking back with a beverage and enjoying one of my favorite shows, Tosh.0, when all of a sudden, directly following a killer joke that had me coughing up my drink, came on one of the saddest commercials ever. Anyone who has ever watched television knows exactly what I am talking about: The Sarah McLaughlin ASPCA commercials. Those sad homeless dogs practically crying through the screen while Sarah sings in her soft yet powerful voice gets me right in my soul every time. Can there ever be a sadder commercial? Let me help you out. The answer is hell no.

Let me be real right now. Those commercials are damn good because they are so effective. No one is going to watch that shit without wanting to immediately go out and rescue a dog. However, there is this little thing called “Target Audience” that the people at the ASPCA need to figure out. No one who is sitting around at 4:40 on a Friday afternoon watching Comedy Central is going to want to be disturbed by that heart crushing commercial. Play it during something more along the lines of Fox News or American Idol. Something that is typically watched by families or people who are going to go out and get a dog because they saw the commercial. I mean, seriously.

If I were them, I would not play it then. If they actually want to play a commercial during these times and not piss people off, simply make a new commercial. Something with upbeat, happy dogs frolicking in a meadow being happy and playful much like the people who watch Tosh.0. Happy and playful. Maybe I should get a job at the ASPCA in their market department. I would totally rock that shit hardcore.

Question of the day: What is your least favorite commercial? What would you do to make it better? I’ll give it a looksee and give you my opinion on it.

Ok and back to Comedy Central as I wait for my bestie to show up. So excited for the weekend!

Peace out shitfaces.

How Real is Reality?

So let’s all just be real with each other for a hot second and agree that the world is a very strange place. I often find myself sitting in my living room watching my Bravo shows and I think to myself, “Come on, I could totally get a show on this channel.” Bravo already does an amazing job taking problem that I am sure are really actually quite small in real life and blowing them entirely out of proportion into being giant life altering issues that could end the world. I mean, how hard could it be? You are just sitting around with your friends talking to each other and it for some reason makes great television.

The biggest issue with having my own show as I see it would be that the average person does not have enough drama in their life to fill a television show. However, for those of you reading this that are really close to me, you all know that I could totally do that. Just rewind over the past year alone and think about all of the things that could really be taken by a crew and made into practically Season Finale episodes. Spring quarter and summer last year was nothing short of a shit show. I would totally watch that on TV. And probably feel sorry for the poor chap.

So I took this concept (me having a Bravo show) and started looking around at how I live my life. Short of me sitting and doing homework or writing I spend most of my time with someone talking about drama or making terrible jokes. If you look at the shows, that’s really all they are. All that these people do is sit around, drink, and talk shit. I could TOTALLY be paid to do that. I would fucking love to be paid millions of dollars to have people trail me with cameras and be shocked at the stupid shit I find myself having to do. Life sucks brah.

So here’s my question: Would you be down to have some strangers with cameras following you around and documenting your life? If so, what would the theme of your show be? (Mine would be Real Housewives style.)

Now back to watching Million Dollar Listing. That shit cray.

Peace out shitfaces.