The Return of the Ex

     For those of you who haven't been watching Brothers and Sisters all the way through ever since they put all five seasons on Netflix, here's some brief background so you will understand what I am talking about. The Walker family from Pasadena experience things in their lives over five years that would literally cause most people to take a long walk off a short pier. One of the most common occurrences in this show is the fact that every season, at least two or three times, some ex-whatever of one of the Walkers comes barreling back into their lives for no good reason trying to either get back into the family or royally screw everything up.

     So we get the theme of this post: Unwanted guests. What is it about people that we don't want to see ever again making sure that one way or another they will always come back into your life at the most inopportune moment. These people always seem to manage to make themselves known when there is something going on where them being there is just wildly inconvenient.

But, even when it seems like everything is going wrong because they are back, we learn something about ourselves. These people, for good or ill, are part of who we are. They make up the base foundation of the lessons learned during our time with them. So when they come back into our lives we get scared. Scared of who we once were and scared that we might become that person again.

My advice for this? Embrace it. Don't be scared of who you once were but acknowledge the fact that without them you wouldn't be the person that you are today. I know that it sucks and I know that the last thing that we might want is to be reminded of the mistakes that all we want to do is leave behind but at the end of the day what has past has past and once we can accept that, once we can truly realize that the person we once were is gone and we are better for it life just doesn't seem so scary.

I'm out!

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Money Can't Buy Happiness, But it Can Keep You Alive

So I sit here looking at my week ahead and I come to the harsh and yet totally normal reality that despite everything I find myself working almost every single day this week. Today is coaching. Thursday, Friday, Saturday is Urban Outfitters. And I can pretty much guarantee you that I will be working again on Sunday. And what is it all for? For the minimum wage pay that barely covers rent and food not to mention the gas getting from place to place, the utility bills to pay, being forced to eat out several times a week because I have a break from work and need food. So if money can’t buy you happiness, then why is it so damn important to live?

I decided, for laughs, to sit down and figure out how much I actually work a week when you factor in travel time and divide that by how much I make before taxes. I work approximate 37 hours a week if you factor in travel time. I get paid, however, monthly and so if you figure that we are looking at more like 148 hours of work/driving a month. And so, all in all, once it is all factored up I make approximately $7.80 an hour working.

For some out there, that might seem like a good amount of money especially if you live in a state where a living wage is $7 an hour because the cost of living is so cheap. I live in California, however, where the cost of living is so high that in our major cities we have a required $10 an hour minimum wage for within city limits to make up for the fact that rent to live there is so damn expensive. It would only figure to make sense then that in a city with such high rent and thus high wage that all other expenses, from groceries to gas, would be so highly inflated.

So why do I work so much in a city like Santa Cruz where everything is insanely expensive and nothing is free only to find money slipping out of my hands faster than I can bring it in? What’s the point? The point is that money, in life, is everything. Our entire society is built on the idea that you have to have money in some amount in order to live. Even the homeless, living on the streets, need to beg for enough money to buy food because without cash there would be no meal and without meals they were eventually die. And so while it may be said that money can’t buy happiness, it sure as hell will at least keep you alive.

I'm Out!


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The Future Part Two: Election Recap

So last night I was standing in Urban Outfitters sweating my life out as the country around me was waiting in anticipation for the election results to come. It was easily one of the most stressful nights of my life. Every now and then I would get a break, run to the break room and get online as quickly as possible to see how things were progressing. Not gonna lie I was worried. Especially since for the first half of the results Romeny was in the lead. The whole store had a cloud over it. (surprise: Urban Outfitters employees are liberal democrats). It wasn’t until Obama pulled ahead that I was finally able to relax. Then the momentum kept building. And building. And building.

And then it was over.

And we won.

And while I am excited and proud that we were able to get our heads out of our butts and voted for the right person what cannot be ignored are the other propositions that were passed. So, here we go.

California:

Education tax increase (Prop 30): So here is one that I was really not sure if it would pass but it did (53.9%). This is what we are looking at: This is a tax increase to place sales tax 0.25% higher and increase taxes on those making more than $250,000. Where does this money go? Education. This just makes good sense. Putting money into bettering education is to invest in the future of California. The children of this state are the future. Why would anyone argue this?

Payroll deduction political contributions (Prop 32): This one here did not pass (43.9%) and it just doesn’t make sense. What we have here is a measure saying that businesses AND unions cannot take money out of their payroll to donate to political campaigns. What would this stop? This would prohibit things like Chick-Fil-A using payroll money to fund campaigns that are harmful to queer individuals. So sad.

Three Strikes Law Revision (Prop 36): This passed? Thank GOD! (68.6%) This now changes the Three Strikes law that if the third offense is “non-serious and non-violent” then the defendant will not be automatically given life in prison. It made no sense to me as to why this was here in the first place. If someone is a career criminal then so not lock him/her away forever, HELP THEM! Give them training to get a job, assist them in finding housing, supply mental health services. Revive the community, don’t put them behind bars.

Other ideals we care about:

Legalize Same-Sex Marriage: As of right now we have two states that have passed the legalization of same-sex marriage in this election (Maine and Maryland). So if those two states get added to what I like to call The Union of the Gay States of America, then the total membership goes to eight. There is a third state (Washington) that also voted on this and even though it is saying right now that based on votes it has passed with 100% of precincts reporting for whatever reason the state has not called it yet. Get it together.

Same-Sex Marriage Ban: Minnesota has never legalized gay marriage but the state tried to do what so many other states have succeeded in by banning gay marriage for good there. And it lost! Thank God. So while gay marriage is not legal there (yet) the effort to thwart any future efforts has itself been thwarted. Props to you Minnesota. Now go make some syrup.

Legalization of Marijuana: You heard me right. LEGALIZATION of marijuana. Not medical marijuana. Marijuana. Colorado is now officially the first state that has passed a proposition (similar to the one California did not pass in 2010) that has legalized the recreational use of weed. I wonder how many people are moving to Boulder? Santa Cruz is going to empty out. Oregon voted on a similar measure and it did not pass. Once again I feel like there is a connection here to those who profit on the illegal weed trade whose business would be foiled by the passing of a law like this.

What can we take from this election? The nation is changing and growing. It is heading in a direction that, while it may scare some, is a fairer and safer place. God bless the United States of America.
Goodbye loves

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Sources:
http://www.politico.com/2012-election/map/#/Measures/2012/
www.wikipedia.com
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https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdU0YMCul_zkunXxqU5OcW1XMCj_GPEYwHoAaskhwgTBJ8Ctg3V-fDCmqYBnnN9ydm127VJBsysBj6ZM_gW2HAuc9wpWFG5sCG0KuYxQOksA1GDL-LNb1WqOA28MjTLJc_GWxXghU5D1A/s1600/education-pic.jpg

The Future.

Every two years we find ourselves subjected to the most influential popularity contest in the history of our nation: elections. Every four years we get slammed with an even more important presidential election that can literally alter the course of our nation’s history. In 2008 this nation found hope and, well, “change” with a new politician who was taking our country by storm. Four years later America is climbing slowly but surely out of the worst recession in memory with Barack Obama leading the way.

Thanks to the lacking of the previous administration, the Obama administration was steamrolled with an economy that collapsed during the months between the election and the previous administration leaving office causing Obama to inherit this monumental problem. While I am sure we can all agree that this recovery is taking time what cannot be ignored is that the task of flipping a national economy does not happen in one day, one week, or even four years. We are taking about widespread reforms in order to ensure that this not only can begin to heal but also that this does not happen again. It cannot be ignored that this is not a simple task. However, in light of this election, it is also important to remember that this country is NOT a business. Mitt Romney’s plan to fix this country is to “run it like a business” without providing a complete concrete plan as to how this will be done. Take a second though to think about how businesses work. A group of individuals on top do whatever they can to squeeze as much profit out of the workers without much regard to the workforce as a whole. Yes, this is precisely how I want this country to be run. Like a sweatshop. Great work…..

The economy aside it is time to delve into what is the most important part of this election to me: the social issues. I in no way want to downplay the importance of the economy in this election but as a gay man it stands to reason that the issues that hit closest to home for me would be the social ones. Plain and simple: Obama is for gay marriage and Romney is not. Black and white. There is no way around it. Obama has come out to say that he is for gay marriage in America and Romney has come out to say that he is for a nationwide ban that would remove the same-sex marriages already performed. My beliefs on the economy thus have to be pushed aside regardless of what I think. The right to marry goes much further than rights. It goes into my community’s standing as legitimate.

As I young gay man I felt helpless as many others in my position do. I felt like society did not accept me and had no place for me. To eliminate the right to marry is to tell every young gay man that what he feels inside is correct. There is no place for you. There is no acceptance for you. You might as well not be you. To tell a young gay person that they cannot love who they want and be accepted by the law is to tell them that it is simply not worth it to love who they want. It is to tell them that the government and the country cannot and will not accept your relationship as legitimate. It is to break the conscience of every young person to let them know once and for all that they are not worth their existence. At the risk of placing so much weight on this issues: The difference between legalizing gay marriage and banning gay marriage is the difference between life and death.

With that I can say with full confidence that I will not be voting for Mitt Romney and I urge every single person who reads this to do the same. If you know me, if you are my friend, if you appreciate my existence and enjoy who I am you cannot allow this man to win. If you know any queer individual and enjoy them you cannot let this man win. If you do not want to see any more faces of young men and women splash on the news with the headline “Gay Teen Suicide” you cannot let this man win.

In less than 36 hours my life could be changing irrevocably.

In less than 36 hours my future could be altered permanently.

In less than 36 hours this nation will be defined.

It’s now your choice.

And don’t fuck it up.

Goodbye loves.

Re-Vamp

As I am sure you can see, it's been a while.

Why is that you ask? Simply because I started this blog out of angst and a sense of misfortune and lately I simply have not been feeling that way. Life has been treating me well.

For one, I am dating someone. His name is Garrett (Instagram: @garrettcervett) and he is simply the bestest. I didn't think I would be able to find someone who is able to put up with all of my crazy but it turns out I just needed someone who was just as crazy as I am. Shocking.

With that I move into the point of this post: I am re-vamping. Everything. Prepare for a change in the blog as well as the new social media platforms I am beginning to utilize. Let's list some of these here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bettencourtslife

Instagram: @bettencourt11

I will be adding more as they come about. Feel free to check me out there though.

That's all for now. Check back soon for updates.

Goodbye loves.

Gotta Have Soul

So I am going to delve into a touchy subject here that has been weighing on my mind lately. What would we as a species define as being a “soul”? What makes one individual different from another and can someone change who they are in response to their surroundings and experiences? It is simply the combined effects of chemical reactions in our brain triggering different responses or is it something greater? Is it something that ultimately drives our being?

In my personal experience I have come to a varied of conclusions when it comes to this idea of “soul”. One, I do believe that a person’s “soul” is something higher than just chemical reactions taking place to drive our actions. Now, I am not going to get into this and start talking about God or sin or anything like that. I am merely saying that this personality we create to embody our lives is not predetermined. Very simply, it can be changed. It is a product of our environment. Have no fear, in the coming days I will approach the subject of changing gays.

Now, I find myself approached with the idea that the soul can thus change. If we are a product of a set of experiences then, as we grow, do new experiences change who we are much like they did when we were younger? To this I would be forced to say yes. Consider any individual who you have known for a long time (let’s say 3 years+). Now look at who they were when you first met them and the kind of person that they are now. Look at the experiences that that person went through since you met them. Can you find any evidence that their actions following those events were different and there was a direct relation to the experience that happened? I say yes.

However, this occurs over a slow period of time. Usually. Usually one must experience an event, process it, relate it back to xyr’s life and then learn and grow. But sometimes, very rarely, an individual comes across an event which rocks them to their core and changes them. It works to flip a switch, if you will. And a process which would normally follow a slow and laborious timeline takes a leap forward.

This happens to me every couple of years or so. Something occurs in my life that shakes me down to my core and changes my view on everything. Up until recently I had been passive. Wandering through my year with no real sight or purpose. I would take on a project and then not put my all into it, hoping in the end that everything would work out. That has all changed.

Over the past couple of days I took a long hard look at who I was and where I was in my life and I realized I had been trying to bullshit everyone, even myself. I am not lazy. I am not passive. I am not a flake. I am determined. I am level-headed. And I will cut a bitch. These months of me feeling sorry for myself and being childish are over. For those of you who think I am not a fighter are dead wrong. I'm a survivor. I'm goin'na make it. I will survive. Keep on survivin'.

Question of the Day: What has happened that rocked your world? How did it change you? Let me know!

Busy week ahead of me but I can do it.

Peace out shitfaces.

I Am Fucking Pissed Off, Part Two

Ok welcome to part two. Following the post yesterday I took it upon myself to start researching what people think and the arguments that they have against gay marriage so as to better come back with a structured argument. I failed. Not because the points they were making were credible but because everything I found was completely insane. So instead, I decided to take one of the worst examples and show the world exactly what ignorance can do.

Today, on the Huffington Post, a particularly heinous video was posted of a Nebraskan woman, Jane Skrovota, who took it upon herself to give a “scientific” examination on gay culture. What resulted was a five minute hate rant that made no logical sense at all. It is my duty as an online blogger to take this insane video and break it down for you. This will get graphic. Be prepared. Let’s begin.

1. Gays are sadistic: So she has a few things in this one. My all-time favorite has to be that by inserting a p-e-n-i-s into an anus causes the intestines to burst, killing the person who is being penetrated. I mean seriously? In what deranged world does this make any sense? She uses this “fact” to say that gay men enjoying having sex with men so they can watch them die in the process. If this were true, about half of my male friends would be dead. Just sayin’.

2. Gays cause genocide in hospitals: This one is pretty awesome because she doesn’t actually say anything as to why she believes this. Instead, she just goes ahead and says it. I would really like to hear why she thinks this cause honestly it doesn’t even make sense for a crazy person.

3. An individual found dead without clothes was “a gay” who was killed by their partner: Skrovota’s logic behind this one is an attack on our dear Whitney Houston. She says that Houston was found naked and dead in a bathtub and that she was obviously gay. Therefore, the only logical reason for her death was that some deranged lesbian killed her while trying to have sex with her. Anyone can say this is total bullshit so I won’t dwell on this one for too long.

4. “Anus licking causes sepsis”: Ok so Skrovota is saying here that going ass to mouth causes sepsis which, if left untreated, kills a person within thirty minutes. Human Centipede aside, I doubt that anyone was killed by a rimjob. Just didn’t happen. Where did she even get this statistic? She is already starting to piss me off more.

5. Gay men molest boys because they “don’t have AIDS yet”: Ok this is really where her strange ramblings go into full blown insanity. He logic is that gay men, afraid of getting AIDS, rape small children so that they can dodge the bullet. First, just because a man is gay DOES NOT mean that he is going to go around raping children and just because a man is a child molester does not mean that he is gay. This is solid fact. Any person who has read a newspaper in the last couple decades could tell you this. The fact that she is saying this on television makes me sad.

6. College students need single rooms to avoid “going gay”: This one is a gem among gems. Having same sex roommates makes you gay. Right? Wrong. Seeing how my roommate freshman year kicked me out regularly in order to bring his girlfriend back to the room I would say that having a homo as a roommate does not mean that you will join the lifestyle. Seeing how most of my readers are college students I would say that you can agree with me.

7. College women are seduced with roofies to “go gay”: Her example for this one is that Hilary Clinton’s lesbian roommate of four years made her gay by slipping her roofies because otherwise she would find it "abhorrent". One: Hilary Clinton is not gay. I mean, she stayed with Bill even after the Monica Lewinski thing. Two: No one I know has ever slipped anyone roofies to convince them to be gay and I know A LOT of queers. That is just ignorance.

8. AIDS is a candida fungus disease: Her logic here is about the same as a math equation. AIDS can kill people. Corpses grow fungus. Therefore AIDS is caused by a fungus. Under the same logic since doing laundry makes the room warm and hot room can lead to dehydration and dehydration can kill. Therefore, NO ONE DO LAUNDRY. It will kill you.

9. Everyone who committed treason by the year 2000 were gays: Not even going to go there. Go on Wikipedia.

10. “A gay” is a behavior, not an identity: Ahh, the good old being gay is a phase argument. Being gay is not a disease. It is not a condition. It is not a behavior. Being gay is something that is caused by genetics. It is something that cannot be changed. Anyone who believes otherwise needs to seriously be talked to.

11. Gays cause children to become, well, basically crazed: Oh sweet Jesus. This lady found something somewhere which says that all children from San Francisco are failing every single class in school and constantly rape each other because they are constantly surrounded by gay people making out. As someone from da bay who is attending a UC I would beg to differ. Where my bay kids at?

12. Bisexuals always become insane: Do I even need to? I mean really? I know plenty of bisexuals living happy healthy bisexual lives and even though some of them can be annoying, as some people often are, none of them are insane. None.

13. Judas was a homo who sabotaged Jesus’s "kind ideas": This is when her religion really came out in full force. Judas, the man who turned in Jesus, was apparently a giant homo and turned Jesus in just for the hell of it. Was it because he was sadistic? Maybe it was because of the sepsis. Either way whatever version of the bible this woman owns really needs a new translation.

Ok so I would like to start off by saying sorry this one is so long. I just didn’t have a choice in the matter. There was too much here. Bear in mind, this was a five minute video. I hope something here resonated in you. Please do not let this kind of ignorance continue. If you know someone who believes any one of these things, do the world a favor and educate them. Sit them down, listen to what they have to say and then calmly present them the facts. It will do everyone a massive favor.

Question of the day: So the question of the day involves you watching the real video (link below) and then responding to it. What was your favorite part? What made you the angriest? How long did it take before you started only watching the guy behind her? Let me know.

Ok, time to get this thing up and go to class.

Peace out shitfaces.

Link to the video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/11/nebraska-woman-homophobia-rant-video_n_1509580.html?ref=fb&src=sp&mimi=1&comm_ref=false

I Want to Get Gay Married

So it has been a long time since I have written anything that is critical of political policy so I figure, why not now? In the wake of today’s announcement from President Obama when he FINALLY publicly stated his support for gay marriage I have been barraged with internet shit regarding the situation. Obama decided, in response to Vice President Joe Biden’s comments regarding the subject earlier this week, to go on record that he too agreed that love is love and everyone should have equal rights. I am not the first to admit this is was a long time coming and it certainly came as no huge surprise.

Now here is where my blood begins to boil just a small amount. The actual catalyst (at least in my head) is the passing of North Carolina’s Amendment One which prohibits same-sex couples from receiving a plethora of civil rights. This law, though extremely short in length, effectively removes any and all rights that a same-sex couple could ever have that opposite-sex couples currently enjoy. This is because the law doesn’t just say that gays can’t marry but it says that a marriage between and man and a woman will be the ONLY recognized UNION in the state.

So how does this connect to Obama? Needless to say any rational and moral human being should read this and be totally outraged. Obama himself, after yesterday’s vote, came out to say that he was disappointed in what North Carolina had done (as were the rest of us). His then saying he supported same sex marriage was the final step in him finally admitting that something needs to be done.

I am now going to just put this out there: I want to get married. I want to find a good man who treats me right, get married, buy a house, and eventually start a family to raise into upstanding citizens. Then, when they are older and off to college I want to travel the world with my husband and eventually retire in comfort somewhere in California. When I think that there are people out there who, for whatever reason, want to limit the love that two people can show each other it seems cruel.

Sorry folks, no question of the day today. I would rather everyone sit with what I just said and see how it personally affects you. Please do comment though and show your support. Simply tell me and everyone else reading this how this makes you feel.

Now back to having no hope in the world.

Peace out shitfaces.

An Introspection on Why I Give a Fuck

Ok ok, I know. It has been a really long time since I have gone on here and posted a new entry. However, if you knew what was going on in my life you would be surprised that I am posting anything even now. It has been a very long time since I needed to deal with so many different things at once and I am way out of practice. I used to be able to take a scenario, process it, and find the best possible way to deal with it with relative ease. Now once I find myself dealing with even two issues my brain goes on overload and I start to go a little crazy.

So you may be wondering where I am going with this and you would be right to wonder that. So with all of these things on my mind I am forced to think simply, “What is it about me that puts me in these situations where I need to think this much?” Do I draw drama into me? Do I go out and seek to create it in order to entertain myself? Or do people simply find me so amusing and entertaining that they are drawn to be and with this surplus of people around me I have no choice but to be drawn into all of this?

Of those, I obviously like the last option the most. I mean, who wouldn’t? So going off of this concept that people are drawn to me and therefore they drag the drama with them then why does this not happen to everyone? Everyone has friends but for some reason I am the only one who finds himself in these situations. Upon further review I realize it has to do entirely with the fact that I simply give too much of a shit. If I could surround myself with people and not care about them so much then I wouldn’t have these problems.

So where go from here? I wish I could say that from now on I will live my life with an IDGAF attitude but I simply can’t. I apologize if it seemed like this was useless because I didn’t really change at the end of it but it was really to address those who know me who think I am just super dramatic and do it for fun. I don’t do it for fun. Being wrapped up in this drama isn’t fun. I just care about people. Sorry.

Question of the day: Do you like drama? Do you find yourself involved in a lot of drama?

Back to my least favorite class.

Peace out shitfaces.

Dead Puppies

So I am watching TV, kicking back with a beverage and enjoying one of my favorite shows, Tosh.0, when all of a sudden, directly following a killer joke that had me coughing up my drink, came on one of the saddest commercials ever. Anyone who has ever watched television knows exactly what I am talking about: The Sarah McLaughlin ASPCA commercials. Those sad homeless dogs practically crying through the screen while Sarah sings in her soft yet powerful voice gets me right in my soul every time. Can there ever be a sadder commercial? Let me help you out. The answer is hell no.

Let me be real right now. Those commercials are damn good because they are so effective. No one is going to watch that shit without wanting to immediately go out and rescue a dog. However, there is this little thing called “Target Audience” that the people at the ASPCA need to figure out. No one who is sitting around at 4:40 on a Friday afternoon watching Comedy Central is going to want to be disturbed by that heart crushing commercial. Play it during something more along the lines of Fox News or American Idol. Something that is typically watched by families or people who are going to go out and get a dog because they saw the commercial. I mean, seriously.

If I were them, I would not play it then. If they actually want to play a commercial during these times and not piss people off, simply make a new commercial. Something with upbeat, happy dogs frolicking in a meadow being happy and playful much like the people who watch Tosh.0. Happy and playful. Maybe I should get a job at the ASPCA in their market department. I would totally rock that shit hardcore.

Question of the day: What is your least favorite commercial? What would you do to make it better? I’ll give it a looksee and give you my opinion on it.

Ok and back to Comedy Central as I wait for my bestie to show up. So excited for the weekend!

Peace out shitfaces.

One Big Room, Full of Dumb Bitches

I would like to take this opportunity to address an issue that seems to be plaguing my life as of late: Stupid people. Ok, let me be more specific before you all thing I am some insensitive prick. The people who are continually bothering me seemingly every single day are the ones who are completely insensitive to other peoples’ wants, needs, and lives so long as their own agendas are pushed in the faces of those trying to get shit done. What do I mean by this? Let me explain.

So say you are in a group of people all working towards a common goal. It is in the benefit of all of those involved that this project is completed to the highest standard possible, agreed? So when one person tries to unify the seemingly shattered group it can be looked upon as a good thing especially when that individual is going out of their way to put other things to the wayside in order to ensure the highest quality result on the project. Now throw into this mix a couple of people who, although they are nice and well-meaning people, decide to throw wrench after wrench into the plan despite a general consensus on what the path the project should take will be.

Now, for those of you who may be reading this and thinking, “God Bettencourt, you are such a passive aggressive asshole. Why would you write this here instead of talking to the group about it?” chances are this post has nothing to do with you. This is an experience that I (and anyone who has ever done a group project) has encountered. I feel like we can all get behind this and say that it is as annoying as fucknuts. When the deadline for a project is rapidly approaching and a good chunk of your reputation relies on its successful completion, in what world does it seem responsible or even right to derail the thing entirely?

So here’s the question of the day: What is your worst group project horror story? Does it have to do with school, or a club, or even with friends (take for example: You were all planning on getting together at a certain time and place and one friend changed it last minute and not everyone got the memo so the day had to be scrapped)?  I’m curious. Let me know.

Now I am off to a well needed lunch with one of my favorite people ever.

Peace out shitfaces.