Showing posts with label Fuck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fuck. Show all posts

Friday, May 11, 2012

I Am Fucking Pissed Off, Part Two

Ok welcome to part two. Following the post yesterday I took it upon myself to start researching what people think and the arguments that they have against gay marriage so as to better come back with a structured argument. I failed. Not because the points they were making were credible but because everything I found was completely insane. So instead, I decided to take one of the worst examples and show the world exactly what ignorance can do.

Today, on the Huffington Post, a particularly heinous video was posted of a Nebraskan woman, Jane Skrovota, who took it upon herself to give a “scientific” examination on gay culture. What resulted was a five minute hate rant that made no logical sense at all. It is my duty as an online blogger to take this insane video and break it down for you. This will get graphic. Be prepared. Let’s begin.

1. Gays are sadistic: So she has a few things in this one. My all-time favorite has to be that by inserting a p-e-n-i-s into an anus causes the intestines to burst, killing the person who is being penetrated. I mean seriously? In what deranged world does this make any sense? She uses this “fact” to say that gay men enjoying having sex with men so they can watch them die in the process. If this were true, about half of my male friends would be dead. Just sayin’.

2. Gays cause genocide in hospitals: This one is pretty awesome because she doesn’t actually say anything as to why she believes this. Instead, she just goes ahead and says it. I would really like to hear why she thinks this cause honestly it doesn’t even make sense for a crazy person.

3. An individual found dead without clothes was “a gay” who was killed by their partner: Skrovota’s logic behind this one is an attack on our dear Whitney Houston. She says that Houston was found naked and dead in a bathtub and that she was obviously gay. Therefore, the only logical reason for her death was that some deranged lesbian killed her while trying to have sex with her. Anyone can say this is total bullshit so I won’t dwell on this one for too long.

4. “Anus licking causes sepsis”: Ok so Skrovota is saying here that going ass to mouth causes sepsis which, if left untreated, kills a person within thirty minutes. Human Centipede aside, I doubt that anyone was killed by a rimjob. Just didn’t happen. Where did she even get this statistic? She is already starting to piss me off more.

5. Gay men molest boys because they “don’t have AIDS yet”: Ok this is really where her strange ramblings go into full blown insanity. He logic is that gay men, afraid of getting AIDS, rape small children so that they can dodge the bullet. First, just because a man is gay DOES NOT mean that he is going to go around raping children and just because a man is a child molester does not mean that he is gay. This is solid fact. Any person who has read a newspaper in the last couple decades could tell you this. The fact that she is saying this on television makes me sad.

6. College students need single rooms to avoid “going gay”: This one is a gem among gems. Having same sex roommates makes you gay. Right? Wrong. Seeing how my roommate freshman year kicked me out regularly in order to bring his girlfriend back to the room I would say that having a homo as a roommate does not mean that you will join the lifestyle. Seeing how most of my readers are college students I would say that you can agree with me.

7. College women are seduced with roofies to “go gay”: Her example for this one is that Hilary Clinton’s lesbian roommate of four years made her gay by slipping her roofies because otherwise she would find it "abhorrent". One: Hilary Clinton is not gay. I mean, she stayed with Bill even after the Monica Lewinski thing. Two: No one I know has ever slipped anyone roofies to convince them to be gay and I know A LOT of queers. That is just ignorance.

8. AIDS is a candida fungus disease: Her logic here is about the same as a math equation. AIDS can kill people. Corpses grow fungus. Therefore AIDS is caused by a fungus. Under the same logic since doing laundry makes the room warm and hot room can lead to dehydration and dehydration can kill. Therefore, NO ONE DO LAUNDRY. It will kill you.

9. Everyone who committed treason by the year 2000 were gays: Not even going to go there. Go on Wikipedia.

10. “A gay” is a behavior, not an identity: Ahh, the good old being gay is a phase argument. Being gay is not a disease. It is not a condition. It is not a behavior. Being gay is something that is caused by genetics. It is something that cannot be changed. Anyone who believes otherwise needs to seriously be talked to.

11. Gays cause children to become, well, basically crazed: Oh sweet Jesus. This lady found something somewhere which says that all children from San Francisco are failing every single class in school and constantly rape each other because they are constantly surrounded by gay people making out. As someone from da bay who is attending a UC I would beg to differ. Where my bay kids at?

12. Bisexuals always become insane: Do I even need to? I mean really? I know plenty of bisexuals living happy healthy bisexual lives and even though some of them can be annoying, as some people often are, none of them are insane. None.

13. Judas was a homo who sabotaged Jesus’s "kind ideas": This is when her religion really came out in full force. Judas, the man who turned in Jesus, was apparently a giant homo and turned Jesus in just for the hell of it. Was it because he was sadistic? Maybe it was because of the sepsis. Either way whatever version of the bible this woman owns really needs a new translation.

Ok so I would like to start off by saying sorry this one is so long. I just didn’t have a choice in the matter. There was too much here. Bear in mind, this was a five minute video. I hope something here resonated in you. Please do not let this kind of ignorance continue. If you know someone who believes any one of these things, do the world a favor and educate them. Sit them down, listen to what they have to say and then calmly present them the facts. It will do everyone a massive favor.

Question of the day: So the question of the day involves you watching the real video (link below) and then responding to it. What was your favorite part? What made you the angriest? How long did it take before you started only watching the guy behind her? Let me know.

Ok, time to get this thing up and go to class.

Peace out shitfaces.

Link to the video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/11/nebraska-woman-homophobia-rant-video_n_1509580.html?ref=fb&src=sp&mimi=1&comm_ref=false

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I Want to Get Gay Married


So it has been a long time since I have written anything that is critical of political policy so I figure, why not now? In the wake of today’s announcement from President Obama when he FINALLY publicly stated his support for gay marriage I have been barraged with internet shit regarding the situation. Obama decided, in response to Vice President Joe Biden’s comments regarding the subject earlier this week, to go on record that he too agreed that love is love and everyone should have equal rights. I am not the first to admit this is was a long time coming and it certainly came as no huge surprise.

Now here is where my blood begins to boil just a small amount. The actual catalyst (at least in my head) is the passing of North Carolina’s Amendment One which prohibits same-sex couples from receiving a plethora of civil rights. This law, though extremely short in length, effectively removes any and all rights that a same-sex couple could ever have that opposite-sex couples currently enjoy. This is because the law doesn’t just say that gays can’t marry but it says that a marriage between and man and a woman will be the ONLY recognized UNION in the state.

So how does this connect to Obama? Needless to say any rational and moral human being should read this and be totally outraged. Obama himself, after yesterday’s vote, came out to say that he was disappointed in what North Carolina had done (as were the rest of us). His then saying he supported same sex marriage was the final step in him finally admitting that something needs to be done.

I am now going to just put this out there: I want to get married. I want to find a good man who treats me right, get married, buy a house, and eventually start a family to raise into upstanding citizens. Then, when they are older and off to college I want to travel the world with my husband and eventually retire in comfort somewhere in California. When I think that there are people out there who, for whatever reason, want to limit the love that two people can show each other it seems cruel.

Sorry folks, no question of the day today. I would rather everyone sit with what I just said and see how it personally affects you. Please do comment though and show your support. Simply tell me and everyone else reading this how this makes you feel.

Now back to having no hope in the world.

Peace out shitfaces.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

An Introspection on Why I Give a Fuck

Ok ok, I know. It has been a really long time since I have gone on here and posted a new entry. However, if you knew what was going on in my life you would be surprised that I am posting anything even now. It has been a very long time since I needed to deal with so many different things at once and I am way out of practice. I used to be able to take a scenario, process it, and find the best possible way to deal with it with relative ease. Now once I find myself dealing with even two issues my brain goes on overload and I start to go a little crazy.

So you may be wondering where I am going with this and you would be right to wonder that. So with all of these things on my mind I am forced to think simply, “What is it about me that puts me in these situations where I need to think this much?” Do I draw drama into me? Do I go out and seek to create it in order to entertain myself? Or do people simply find me so amusing and entertaining that they are drawn to be and with this surplus of people around me I have no choice but to be drawn into all of this?

Of those, I obviously like the last option the most. I mean, who wouldn’t? So going off of this concept that people are drawn to me and therefore they drag the drama with them then why does this not happen to everyone? Everyone has friends but for some reason I am the only one who finds himself in these situations. Upon further review I realize it has to do entirely with the fact that I simply give too much of a shit. If I could surround myself with people and not care about them so much then I wouldn’t have these problems.

So where go from here? I wish I could say that from now on I will live my life with an IDGAF attitude but I simply can’t. I apologize if it seemed like this was useless because I didn’t really change at the end of it but it was really to address those who know me who think I am just super dramatic and do it for fun. I don’t do it for fun. Being wrapped up in this drama isn’t fun. I just care about people. Sorry.

Question of the day: Do you like drama? Do you find yourself involved in a lot of drama?

Back to my least favorite class.

Peace out shitfaces.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

One Big Room, Full of Dumb Bitches


I would like to take this opportunity to address an issue that seems to be plaguing my life as of late: Stupid people. Ok, let me be more specific before you all thing I am some insensitive prick. The people who are continually bothering me seemingly every single day are the ones who are completely insensitive to other peoples’ wants, needs, and lives so long as their own agendas are pushed in the faces of those trying to get shit done. What do I mean by this? Let me explain.

So say you are in a group of people all working towards a common goal. It is in the benefit of all of those involved that this project is completed to the highest standard possible, agreed? So when one person tries to unify the seemingly shattered group it can be looked upon as a good thing especially when that individual is going out of their way to put other things to the wayside in order to ensure the highest quality result on the project. Now throw into this mix a couple of people who, although they are nice and well-meaning people, decide to throw wrench after wrench into the plan despite a general consensus on what the path the project should take will be.

Now, for those of you who may be reading this and thinking, “God Bettencourt, you are such a passive aggressive asshole. Why would you write this here instead of talking to the group about it?” chances are this post has nothing to do with you. This is an experience that I (and anyone who has ever done a group project) has encountered. I feel like we can all get behind this and say that it is as annoying as fucknuts. When the deadline for a project is rapidly approaching and a good chunk of your reputation relies on its successful completion, in what world does it seem responsible or even right to derail the thing entirely?

So here’s the question of the day: What is your worst group project horror story? Does it have to do with school, or a club, or even with friends (take for example: You were all planning on getting together at a certain time and place and one friend changed it last minute and not everyone got the memo so the day had to be scrapped)?  I’m curious. Let me know.

Now I am off to a well needed lunch with one of my favorite people ever.

Peace out shitfaces.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Thrifty Spice


So there are several pretty damn magical aspects about Santa Cruz that you don’t really realize until you’re trapped here twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. One of the few pleasures of this town is the fact that it is practically swimming with thrift stores (most likely to serve the ever expanding quantity of homeless people wandering the streets downtown).  One of the finest gems in this category is found nestled on Front Street between two kind of scary parking lots. Because of the fact that it is known by several different names I’ll list them all here so everyone will know what I am talking about: Thrift Center, Santa Cruz Thrift, Community Thrift Store, and the 50% off store.

Today was the day when my ladies and I ventured off campus to go on a date night down to the Thrift Center. I have to say, I FUCKING LOVE THIS STORE. Vern got some cute shit and Vic got a little sexy black beaded onesie that she’s cutting the thong off of. I know, sounds bizarre but believe me it’s going to be sexy as fucknuts. And, even though I’m on what can only be describe as a vagabond budget, managed out the door with a T-Shirt that says “Property of Captain Morgan”. Now come on, is anything truer? I think not. I’ve taken it and cut it up into a tank for the beach tomorrow. Super excited!

So now we come to the real issue in this post, is anything better than a good thrift store? I mean, come on. When you’re in college and you need new clothes because you feel weird wearing the same thing to the same class multiple times where else will you shop? You can’t exactly go to Urban Outfitters or American Apparel every time you need a new fucking shirt or shorts. So you are left going to a store where you buy things that were probably made before you were and people gave them up to get fifty cents taken off their taxes at the end of the year. And you know what? I love it.

So we come to the question of the day: What is your favorite place to buy cheap shit? What do you usually get there? Leave a comment (any maybe a picture of your favorite thing?).

Ok, back to watching The Phantom of the Opera with my ladies.

Peace out shitfaces.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Boxed Wine and Baby Mama

Ahhh what a solid day. Woke up at 1:15 and was leaving campus by 1:30 for da beach. Anyone else jealous? There are definitely days where I stop myself and think, "Wow. I fucking live here? Seriously? Life is cray." But let's be real. Who the fuck would not want to live in Santa Cruz? The anti-christ. That's who. Fucking anti-christ...

And just as I thought the day could not get any better. Guess what shitfaces. It did! Had a social with a sorority who will remain un-named where I got FUCKED THE SHIT UP. I know shocking. A frat party where people got fucked up. However comma I don't really care what you think. I played beer pong and even though I lost to a freshman I don't care. That bitch is like my son. I'm proud.

Came home to my apartment where my housemates greeted me like a king. They had gone out and gotten a box of wine and were having a movie marathon. We watched Donnie Darko (for the first time since I was little) and I was so drunk I almost shat my pants. My pants were literally almost full of shat. How awkward.

And now it be time for Baby Mama. I would type more but, well, I'm not exactly sober and some kiddos are still here. So I'm gonna go and be sociable.

Leave a comment with what your favorite flavor of franzia is. Whatever gets the most votes, I will buy an entire box of and drink it in less than two hours. I promise to write very soon after the last glass.

Peace out shitfaces.

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