Showing posts with label ass. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ass. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Gotta Have Soul

So I am going to delve into a touchy subject here that has been weighing on my mind lately. What would we as a species define as being a “soul”? What makes one individual different from another and can someone change who they are in response to their surroundings and experiences? It is simply the combined effects of chemical reactions in our brain triggering different responses or is it something greater? Is it something that ultimately drives our being?

In my personal experience I have come to a varied of conclusions when it comes to this idea of “soul”. One, I do believe that a person’s “soul” is something higher than just chemical reactions taking place to drive our actions. Now, I am not going to get into this and start talking about God or sin or anything like that. I am merely saying that this personality we create to embody our lives is not predetermined. Very simply, it can be changed. It is a product of our environment. Have no fear, in the coming days I will approach the subject of changing gays.

Now, I find myself approached with the idea that the soul can thus change. If we are a product of a set of experiences then, as we grow, do new experiences change who we are much like they did when we were younger? To this I would be forced to say yes. Consider any individual who you have known for a long time (let’s say 3 years+). Now look at who they were when you first met them and the kind of person that they are now. Look at the experiences that that person went through since you met them. Can you find any evidence that their actions following those events were different and there was a direct relation to the experience that happened? I say yes.

However, this occurs over a slow period of time. Usually. Usually one must experience an event, process it, relate it back to xyr’s life and then learn and grow. But sometimes, very rarely, an individual comes across an event which rocks them to their core and changes them. It works to flip a switch, if you will. And a process which would normally follow a slow and laborious timeline takes a leap forward.

This happens to me every couple of years or so. Something occurs in my life that shakes me down to my core and changes my view on everything. Up until recently I had been passive. Wandering through my year with no real sight or purpose. I would take on a project and then not put my all into it, hoping in the end that everything would work out. That has all changed.

Over the past couple of days I took a long hard look at who I was and where I was in my life and I realized I had been trying to bullshit everyone, even myself. I am not lazy. I am not passive. I am not a flake. I am determined. I am level-headed. And I will cut a bitch. These months of me feeling sorry for myself and being childish are over. For those of you who think I am not a fighter are dead wrong. I'm a survivor. I'm goin'na make it. I will survive. Keep on survivin'.

Question of the Day: What has happened that rocked your world? How did it change you? Let me know!

Busy week ahead of me but I can do it.

Peace out shitfaces.

Friday, May 11, 2012

I Am Fucking Pissed Off, Part Two

Ok welcome to part two. Following the post yesterday I took it upon myself to start researching what people think and the arguments that they have against gay marriage so as to better come back with a structured argument. I failed. Not because the points they were making were credible but because everything I found was completely insane. So instead, I decided to take one of the worst examples and show the world exactly what ignorance can do.

Today, on the Huffington Post, a particularly heinous video was posted of a Nebraskan woman, Jane Skrovota, who took it upon herself to give a “scientific” examination on gay culture. What resulted was a five minute hate rant that made no logical sense at all. It is my duty as an online blogger to take this insane video and break it down for you. This will get graphic. Be prepared. Let’s begin.

1. Gays are sadistic: So she has a few things in this one. My all-time favorite has to be that by inserting a p-e-n-i-s into an anus causes the intestines to burst, killing the person who is being penetrated. I mean seriously? In what deranged world does this make any sense? She uses this “fact” to say that gay men enjoying having sex with men so they can watch them die in the process. If this were true, about half of my male friends would be dead. Just sayin’.

2. Gays cause genocide in hospitals: This one is pretty awesome because she doesn’t actually say anything as to why she believes this. Instead, she just goes ahead and says it. I would really like to hear why she thinks this cause honestly it doesn’t even make sense for a crazy person.

3. An individual found dead without clothes was “a gay” who was killed by their partner: Skrovota’s logic behind this one is an attack on our dear Whitney Houston. She says that Houston was found naked and dead in a bathtub and that she was obviously gay. Therefore, the only logical reason for her death was that some deranged lesbian killed her while trying to have sex with her. Anyone can say this is total bullshit so I won’t dwell on this one for too long.

4. “Anus licking causes sepsis”: Ok so Skrovota is saying here that going ass to mouth causes sepsis which, if left untreated, kills a person within thirty minutes. Human Centipede aside, I doubt that anyone was killed by a rimjob. Just didn’t happen. Where did she even get this statistic? She is already starting to piss me off more.

5. Gay men molest boys because they “don’t have AIDS yet”: Ok this is really where her strange ramblings go into full blown insanity. He logic is that gay men, afraid of getting AIDS, rape small children so that they can dodge the bullet. First, just because a man is gay DOES NOT mean that he is going to go around raping children and just because a man is a child molester does not mean that he is gay. This is solid fact. Any person who has read a newspaper in the last couple decades could tell you this. The fact that she is saying this on television makes me sad.

6. College students need single rooms to avoid “going gay”: This one is a gem among gems. Having same sex roommates makes you gay. Right? Wrong. Seeing how my roommate freshman year kicked me out regularly in order to bring his girlfriend back to the room I would say that having a homo as a roommate does not mean that you will join the lifestyle. Seeing how most of my readers are college students I would say that you can agree with me.

7. College women are seduced with roofies to “go gay”: Her example for this one is that Hilary Clinton’s lesbian roommate of four years made her gay by slipping her roofies because otherwise she would find it "abhorrent". One: Hilary Clinton is not gay. I mean, she stayed with Bill even after the Monica Lewinski thing. Two: No one I know has ever slipped anyone roofies to convince them to be gay and I know A LOT of queers. That is just ignorance.

8. AIDS is a candida fungus disease: Her logic here is about the same as a math equation. AIDS can kill people. Corpses grow fungus. Therefore AIDS is caused by a fungus. Under the same logic since doing laundry makes the room warm and hot room can lead to dehydration and dehydration can kill. Therefore, NO ONE DO LAUNDRY. It will kill you.

9. Everyone who committed treason by the year 2000 were gays: Not even going to go there. Go on Wikipedia.

10. “A gay” is a behavior, not an identity: Ahh, the good old being gay is a phase argument. Being gay is not a disease. It is not a condition. It is not a behavior. Being gay is something that is caused by genetics. It is something that cannot be changed. Anyone who believes otherwise needs to seriously be talked to.

11. Gays cause children to become, well, basically crazed: Oh sweet Jesus. This lady found something somewhere which says that all children from San Francisco are failing every single class in school and constantly rape each other because they are constantly surrounded by gay people making out. As someone from da bay who is attending a UC I would beg to differ. Where my bay kids at?

12. Bisexuals always become insane: Do I even need to? I mean really? I know plenty of bisexuals living happy healthy bisexual lives and even though some of them can be annoying, as some people often are, none of them are insane. None.

13. Judas was a homo who sabotaged Jesus’s "kind ideas": This is when her religion really came out in full force. Judas, the man who turned in Jesus, was apparently a giant homo and turned Jesus in just for the hell of it. Was it because he was sadistic? Maybe it was because of the sepsis. Either way whatever version of the bible this woman owns really needs a new translation.

Ok so I would like to start off by saying sorry this one is so long. I just didn’t have a choice in the matter. There was too much here. Bear in mind, this was a five minute video. I hope something here resonated in you. Please do not let this kind of ignorance continue. If you know someone who believes any one of these things, do the world a favor and educate them. Sit them down, listen to what they have to say and then calmly present them the facts. It will do everyone a massive favor.

Question of the day: So the question of the day involves you watching the real video (link below) and then responding to it. What was your favorite part? What made you the angriest? How long did it take before you started only watching the guy behind her? Let me know.

Ok, time to get this thing up and go to class.

Peace out shitfaces.

Link to the video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/11/nebraska-woman-homophobia-rant-video_n_1509580.html?ref=fb&src=sp&mimi=1&comm_ref=false

Thursday, May 3, 2012

One Big Room, Full of Dumb Bitches


I would like to take this opportunity to address an issue that seems to be plaguing my life as of late: Stupid people. Ok, let me be more specific before you all thing I am some insensitive prick. The people who are continually bothering me seemingly every single day are the ones who are completely insensitive to other peoples’ wants, needs, and lives so long as their own agendas are pushed in the faces of those trying to get shit done. What do I mean by this? Let me explain.

So say you are in a group of people all working towards a common goal. It is in the benefit of all of those involved that this project is completed to the highest standard possible, agreed? So when one person tries to unify the seemingly shattered group it can be looked upon as a good thing especially when that individual is going out of their way to put other things to the wayside in order to ensure the highest quality result on the project. Now throw into this mix a couple of people who, although they are nice and well-meaning people, decide to throw wrench after wrench into the plan despite a general consensus on what the path the project should take will be.

Now, for those of you who may be reading this and thinking, “God Bettencourt, you are such a passive aggressive asshole. Why would you write this here instead of talking to the group about it?” chances are this post has nothing to do with you. This is an experience that I (and anyone who has ever done a group project) has encountered. I feel like we can all get behind this and say that it is as annoying as fucknuts. When the deadline for a project is rapidly approaching and a good chunk of your reputation relies on its successful completion, in what world does it seem responsible or even right to derail the thing entirely?

So here’s the question of the day: What is your worst group project horror story? Does it have to do with school, or a club, or even with friends (take for example: You were all planning on getting together at a certain time and place and one friend changed it last minute and not everyone got the memo so the day had to be scrapped)?  I’m curious. Let me know.

Now I am off to a well needed lunch with one of my favorite people ever.

Peace out shitfaces.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Tank of Gay Sharks

Dating can be a tricky subject for anyone. Now take that anyone and have them swim the waters of college looking for that special someone. Now on top of all that give them a possible 5% of the population who might be physically attracted to them based off of gender.  Just when you thought that navigating the waters of dating could not get any more challenging, think again. If you were convinced straight kids had it rough, think again.

Let’s break this shit down. The biggest complaint when it comes to dating is that finding someone to date is difficult. However, let’s take a little looksee at this one. Take a gay male bodied individual for example, we’ll call him Bettencourt. Bettencourt is a gay man who’s demographic for dating consists of other gay men. Now let’s be extremely generalizing and say that the population of the Earth is split evenly fifty/fifty between men and women. So Bettencourt, in theory, could only be attracted to fifty percent of the population. Now, out of one hundred it is theorized that ten percent would be gay. This means that five percent of the world’s population are gay male bodied individuals. Therefore, in theory, in a room filled with one hundred people a straight man would theoretically have forty-five people to date whereas Bettencourt would only have four (seeing as he would be one of the five in the room).

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not just bitching for bitchings sake. Over the past couple of months I think I have been in talks with at least ten different guys to prospectively date. I know what you might be thinking, “Well B doesn’t this go against your theory seeing how you seem to be having no problem finding gays?” Well there you would be wrong. It is true that I have been able to find gays around me, thanks to some (let’s call it) futuristic networking, but as you can tell by my thinly veiled bitterness, they were all flops. If I had a larger base of people to approach I would be able to be more selective and only try to get involved with people who I already know I would be compatible with as opposed to throwing myself around hoping something sticks.

And that brings us to the glorious question of the day: What was your worst date ever? Did you ever see the person again? Do you think they would have been good for you if the date had gone better?

And with that I return to my regularly scheduled day.

Peace out shitfaces.

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Day of Total Nothingness

There are just those days where there is literally nothing you can do but sit on your couch and die. I definitely just had one of those days. And you know what. I am not ashamed. After staying awake until roughly 8 am with my housemate watching movies and drinking wine I needed a day to do nothing but think about the fact that all I want to do is nothing.

So what does one do with a day where one is doing nothing. Lemme tell you. I sat on my fat ass, ate three hot pockets, and watched movie after movie all ending with a "Friends" marathon on Nick@Nite. Best fucking day ever.

I would definitely write more but, to be perfectly honest, I am seriously so exhausted today. Question of the day: What is your perfect day? If you could literally do anything for one day what would it be? Get creative fuckers. I am interested to see what your twisted minds come up with.

Peace out shitfaces.

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