DOMA is Doomed

Spending my day off obsessively watching episode after episode of “Say Yes to the Dress” on Netflix of course has me thinking about the idea of marriage. Why do it? What’s the benefit? Is it worth the money? And, of course, the last one brings us to a much more serious point: Why, as a gay man, am I not allowed? With the decision coming down the pipe from the US Supreme Court on not only the constitutionality of DOMA but also on California’s Prop 8 the whole nation is bracing, for good or ill, for a momentous change. As this is happening though conservative are, of course, letting their voices be heard by announcing a pledge that they will defy any decision toward marriage equality with signers ranging from religious figures to political leaders. Before we cast stones at these zealots, let’s take a look at the facts.

On the table we have two different decisions: DOMA and Prop 8. The Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, decision will determine whether or not barring same-sex couples from receiving federal benefits as a married couple is constitutionally allowed. While this benefit would do nothing for couples who are not living in states that recognize same-sex marriage, those living in the handful of states that do will finally receive benefits from the feds if it is overturned. Prop 8 on the other hand is a little trickier here. We got options. Prop 8 could be overturned on the ground of federal constitutionality and thus overturn all gay marriage bans in the United States leading to full legalization. More likely the Supreme Court will say that it is unconstitutional IN CALIFORNIA ONLY and allow gay marriage there. The case could even be thrown out altogether leading to, again, gay marriage in California. So what is this pledge thingy?

Banning together under the veil of religious expression, hundreds of religious Americans have signed onto a pledge that they would ignore any decision passed down from the Supreme Court that would spell marriage equality. Using key buzz words and phrases such as “freedom”, “society”, and “faith”, the two page letter creates a nation that is apparently being overrun by the power of the judicial branch which, in their mind, should not have any power at all. As they put it, “Unlike the Legislative Branch that has the power of the purse and the Executive Branch which has the figurative power of the sword, the Judicial Branch has neither”. So for them this decision is one that in going against their religious freedoms from a branch of government that they see as being powerless. But, if one actually reads the document, what is very obviously lacking is any sort of plan of what to do. It reads more like a tantrum from a snotty toddler than a document with weight and purpose.

So what can these individuals even do? Considering the list of individuals signed on board with this pledge I am going to say not very much. Out of the hundred some odd people who have given their names for this, there is only one person who currently holds a seat in a United States government position and that is Rep. Sally Kern of Oklahoma’s 84^th House District who is, unsurprisingly, a Republican and who could be shocked to read this when this is the same woman with such famous statements as “We have a high percentage of blacks in prison, and that’s tragic, but are they in prison just because they are black or because they don’t want to study as hard in school?” and that women earn less than men because they don't work as hard and have less initiative. So it’s not like her inclusion onto this pledge comes as any kind of surprise. From there we ramble onto a list of various figured ranging from Peter La Barbera, the Preside of “Americans for Truth About Homosexuality” to Dr. Warren Guy, a pediatric dentist. Seems to me like this list is missing the key political weight it needs to even matter.

Look, the fact of the matter is that this is going to happen. Gay marriage, one way or another, is going to be legalized. The cards are falling into place now and finally we are closer than ever and these religious yahoos and simply using it as an excuse to try to stay relevant but it is obviously not going to work. The biggest knock here is the fact that they couldn’t even get big name Republicans to sign on. Where are the Rush Limbaughs and Sarah Palins of the world? Not here because even they are realizing that in order to keep their jobs they have to stay on the right side of history and calm it down a little. This letter is nothing more than a piece of paper trying to stop a rolling boulder. Sorry Dr. Guy. Go back to the spit bowl. I’m gonna get all kinds of gay married.

I’m out!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bettencourtslife
Twitter: @BettencourtP

Works Referenced:

-"Sally Kern." Wikipedia. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Rayfield, Jillian. "Oklahoma GOPer: It’s A Fact That ‘Blacks’ Don’t Work As Hard." TPM. N.p., 28 Apr. 2011. Web. 22 June 2013.

-McNutt, Michael. "Kern Apologizes for Comments on Minorities and Women; NAACP Says It's Not Enough." NewsOK. N.p., 29 Apr. 2011. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Gates, Sara. "Conservatives Pledge To Defy Any Marriage Equality Ruling The Supreme Court Reaches." Huffington Post. N.p., 22 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Bloomfield, Aubrey. "Supreme Court DOMA: The Anachronistic Law Must Be Struck Down." Policy Mic. N.p., 22 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Phillip, Abby D. "Supreme Court DOMA Ruling Looms Over Immigration Overhaul." ABC News. N.p., 17 June 2013. Web. 22 June 2013.

-Freedom Federation. "We Stand in Solidarity to Defend Marriageand the Family and Society Founded Upon Them." Scribd. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 June 2013

Gotta Have Soul

So I am going to delve into a touchy subject here that has been weighing on my mind lately. What would we as a species define as being a “soul”? What makes one individual different from another and can someone change who they are in response to their surroundings and experiences? It is simply the combined effects of chemical reactions in our brain triggering different responses or is it something greater? Is it something that ultimately drives our being?

In my personal experience I have come to a varied of conclusions when it comes to this idea of “soul”. One, I do believe that a person’s “soul” is something higher than just chemical reactions taking place to drive our actions. Now, I am not going to get into this and start talking about God or sin or anything like that. I am merely saying that this personality we create to embody our lives is not predetermined. Very simply, it can be changed. It is a product of our environment. Have no fear, in the coming days I will approach the subject of changing gays.

Now, I find myself approached with the idea that the soul can thus change. If we are a product of a set of experiences then, as we grow, do new experiences change who we are much like they did when we were younger? To this I would be forced to say yes. Consider any individual who you have known for a long time (let’s say 3 years+). Now look at who they were when you first met them and the kind of person that they are now. Look at the experiences that that person went through since you met them. Can you find any evidence that their actions following those events were different and there was a direct relation to the experience that happened? I say yes.

However, this occurs over a slow period of time. Usually. Usually one must experience an event, process it, relate it back to xyr’s life and then learn and grow. But sometimes, very rarely, an individual comes across an event which rocks them to their core and changes them. It works to flip a switch, if you will. And a process which would normally follow a slow and laborious timeline takes a leap forward.

This happens to me every couple of years or so. Something occurs in my life that shakes me down to my core and changes my view on everything. Up until recently I had been passive. Wandering through my year with no real sight or purpose. I would take on a project and then not put my all into it, hoping in the end that everything would work out. That has all changed.

Over the past couple of days I took a long hard look at who I was and where I was in my life and I realized I had been trying to bullshit everyone, even myself. I am not lazy. I am not passive. I am not a flake. I am determined. I am level-headed. And I will cut a bitch. These months of me feeling sorry for myself and being childish are over. For those of you who think I am not a fighter are dead wrong. I'm a survivor. I'm goin'na make it. I will survive. Keep on survivin'.

Question of the Day: What has happened that rocked your world? How did it change you? Let me know!

Busy week ahead of me but I can do it.

Peace out shitfaces.

I Am Fucking Pissed Off, Part Two

Ok welcome to part two. Following the post yesterday I took it upon myself to start researching what people think and the arguments that they have against gay marriage so as to better come back with a structured argument. I failed. Not because the points they were making were credible but because everything I found was completely insane. So instead, I decided to take one of the worst examples and show the world exactly what ignorance can do.

Today, on the Huffington Post, a particularly heinous video was posted of a Nebraskan woman, Jane Skrovota, who took it upon herself to give a “scientific” examination on gay culture. What resulted was a five minute hate rant that made no logical sense at all. It is my duty as an online blogger to take this insane video and break it down for you. This will get graphic. Be prepared. Let’s begin.

1. Gays are sadistic: So she has a few things in this one. My all-time favorite has to be that by inserting a p-e-n-i-s into an anus causes the intestines to burst, killing the person who is being penetrated. I mean seriously? In what deranged world does this make any sense? She uses this “fact” to say that gay men enjoying having sex with men so they can watch them die in the process. If this were true, about half of my male friends would be dead. Just sayin’.

2. Gays cause genocide in hospitals: This one is pretty awesome because she doesn’t actually say anything as to why she believes this. Instead, she just goes ahead and says it. I would really like to hear why she thinks this cause honestly it doesn’t even make sense for a crazy person.

3. An individual found dead without clothes was “a gay” who was killed by their partner: Skrovota’s logic behind this one is an attack on our dear Whitney Houston. She says that Houston was found naked and dead in a bathtub and that she was obviously gay. Therefore, the only logical reason for her death was that some deranged lesbian killed her while trying to have sex with her. Anyone can say this is total bullshit so I won’t dwell on this one for too long.

4. “Anus licking causes sepsis”: Ok so Skrovota is saying here that going ass to mouth causes sepsis which, if left untreated, kills a person within thirty minutes. Human Centipede aside, I doubt that anyone was killed by a rimjob. Just didn’t happen. Where did she even get this statistic? She is already starting to piss me off more.

5. Gay men molest boys because they “don’t have AIDS yet”: Ok this is really where her strange ramblings go into full blown insanity. He logic is that gay men, afraid of getting AIDS, rape small children so that they can dodge the bullet. First, just because a man is gay DOES NOT mean that he is going to go around raping children and just because a man is a child molester does not mean that he is gay. This is solid fact. Any person who has read a newspaper in the last couple decades could tell you this. The fact that she is saying this on television makes me sad.

6. College students need single rooms to avoid “going gay”: This one is a gem among gems. Having same sex roommates makes you gay. Right? Wrong. Seeing how my roommate freshman year kicked me out regularly in order to bring his girlfriend back to the room I would say that having a homo as a roommate does not mean that you will join the lifestyle. Seeing how most of my readers are college students I would say that you can agree with me.

7. College women are seduced with roofies to “go gay”: Her example for this one is that Hilary Clinton’s lesbian roommate of four years made her gay by slipping her roofies because otherwise she would find it "abhorrent". One: Hilary Clinton is not gay. I mean, she stayed with Bill even after the Monica Lewinski thing. Two: No one I know has ever slipped anyone roofies to convince them to be gay and I know A LOT of queers. That is just ignorance.

8. AIDS is a candida fungus disease: Her logic here is about the same as a math equation. AIDS can kill people. Corpses grow fungus. Therefore AIDS is caused by a fungus. Under the same logic since doing laundry makes the room warm and hot room can lead to dehydration and dehydration can kill. Therefore, NO ONE DO LAUNDRY. It will kill you.

9. Everyone who committed treason by the year 2000 were gays: Not even going to go there. Go on Wikipedia.

10. “A gay” is a behavior, not an identity: Ahh, the good old being gay is a phase argument. Being gay is not a disease. It is not a condition. It is not a behavior. Being gay is something that is caused by genetics. It is something that cannot be changed. Anyone who believes otherwise needs to seriously be talked to.

11. Gays cause children to become, well, basically crazed: Oh sweet Jesus. This lady found something somewhere which says that all children from San Francisco are failing every single class in school and constantly rape each other because they are constantly surrounded by gay people making out. As someone from da bay who is attending a UC I would beg to differ. Where my bay kids at?

12. Bisexuals always become insane: Do I even need to? I mean really? I know plenty of bisexuals living happy healthy bisexual lives and even though some of them can be annoying, as some people often are, none of them are insane. None.

13. Judas was a homo who sabotaged Jesus’s "kind ideas": This is when her religion really came out in full force. Judas, the man who turned in Jesus, was apparently a giant homo and turned Jesus in just for the hell of it. Was it because he was sadistic? Maybe it was because of the sepsis. Either way whatever version of the bible this woman owns really needs a new translation.

Ok so I would like to start off by saying sorry this one is so long. I just didn’t have a choice in the matter. There was too much here. Bear in mind, this was a five minute video. I hope something here resonated in you. Please do not let this kind of ignorance continue. If you know someone who believes any one of these things, do the world a favor and educate them. Sit them down, listen to what they have to say and then calmly present them the facts. It will do everyone a massive favor.

Question of the day: So the question of the day involves you watching the real video (link below) and then responding to it. What was your favorite part? What made you the angriest? How long did it take before you started only watching the guy behind her? Let me know.

Ok, time to get this thing up and go to class.

Peace out shitfaces.

Link to the video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/11/nebraska-woman-homophobia-rant-video_n_1509580.html?ref=fb&src=sp&mimi=1&comm_ref=false

I Am Fucking Pissed Off, Part One

Warning: While I fully encourage you to keep reading please do so with caution. Some of you may be outright angry when you reach the end of it. It won’t be pretty and it won’t be nice. Sorry but here we go.

The world is an ever changing place. I think we can all agree on that. It was not until 1967 that a man and a woman of different ethnic backgrounds could marry.  It was not until 1985 until it became legal for a man and a woman to get divorced for any reason other than abandonment, cruelty, incurable mental illness, or adultery. These are two things which, now, seem to be obvious. To not allow these things seems cruel and, at least in the case of the former, blatantly racist. However, consider the fact that around that time being blatantly racist was not considered a bad thing.

So where am I going with this? Think about the people in your life who you may consider to be blatantly homophobic. Are there any who would not consider themselves to be homophobic but simply stated they are? I see no difference between that than the individuals during the 1960’s who were fighting for segregation. Now you know where I am going with this. To fight against the legalization of marriage for same-sex couples is homophobic. It is hate. No matter which way you attempt to cover your ass by trying to rationalize it, to not allow civil rights to a group of people based solely off of attributes which they have no control over such as sexual orientation is hate. Pure unadulterated hate.

Now I have been presented with this idea of having civil unions which would entitle same-sex couples to all rights and privileges afforded by a marriage. This is complete and utter bullshit. For those who know me (and most of you do) then you know what one day I want to have kids. I do not want to bring children into this world though if I cannot be married to my partner. I do not want to live in fear of the day when my son or daughter comes home from school one day and asks, “Daddy, why aren’t you and Daddy married?” I do not want to have to look this sweet child in the eyes and explain to them that there are people in this world who feel that my love is not right and therefore should not be allowed to enjoy the privilege of marriage.

So now I ask you to look at yourself. Put yourself in my shoes. Imagine you are a gay man. Or the child of gay parents. Or even the parent of a gay child. What would be fair rights to you? What would be equal? A reworked civil union? Or nothing short of full marriage equality?

Please think about this. Chances are there will be a Part Two later today.

Peace out shitfaces.